The Beauty of Disappointment

Catchy title eh?
Well yea let's go with it :)
Sometimes you get disappointed so many times that you don't even feel it anymore (or more like you numb yourself not to feel it anyway). Yea yea pessimism again...I know but there's something beautiful about it too. What could possibly be beautiful about disappointment you might ask? Well, the beauty is that you can still manage to love the person who disappointed you. That's the beauty of it! That same person can disappoint you so much that your heart is broken into a thousand pieces every time and yet your love for that person is still incredibly strong. That is what I call complicated love. That's enough pessimism for one day...haha maybe but definitely not enough sarcasm :)

It's been a while!

Ok..ok...ok...it's been three months but then again no body really reads this blog anyway :P
I'm writing to my invisible audience.

Well, here we go:

Life has been interesting. I think I finally figured out what I wanna do with my life. It's been a struggle I will admit. But then again, life goes on and sometimes you're caught in the middle of all the craziness! You get to this deep crevice (like how I used a big word?) where you feel stuck and confused (but at least not as bad as puberty T-T),and you ask the inevitable questions: "Who am I?" "Why am I here?" Yea well, that's what you get during senior year....everyone around is talking about going off to college and their careers and that's great but seriously................what about the rest of us? Hah....well, I'm not a religious nut but I do however want to be in God's will for my life. It's hard to try and figure out what exactly that is. I felt like (and still do actually) like a eagle (yea yea bare with me ok)whose wing has been broken because of wanting to fly solo. Wanting to do everything by myself. Look where that got me :P not far...
Oooh I know I sound pessimistic today but then again pessimism is needed sometimes u know.
Okkkkk.......I'm going to Israel or at least planning on it. You weren't expecting that one eh? Hah me neither really....but I think I really wanna go and I know it's not gonna be the way I expect it to be because life is most definitely not a fairy tale. Learnt that the beautifully hard way (heh dropped an oxymoron on you). Let's just see what He does with my life.